Healthy self-esteem is a key building block to a successful work-life journey. Self-esteem and confidence include being self-assured, being able to speak up at the right time, being capable of self-respect, and having confidence in oneself to do the job well.

All those things coming together at once might seem like a tall order for your son or daughter, especially if they've just discovered they failed first-year math at college for the second time or if they didn't get hired for that job at the local grocery store they thought they were a shoo-in for!

Ouch! We feel for our kids, even after they leave home for college. As your child becomes more independent, parents can continue to support their kids emotionally and provide a shoulder to cry on or an empathetic listening ear.

As parents, however, we know that the only person who can get our child through tough times is the child.

Failing a college course, losing a game or not getting an interview are just a few of the challenges your children will face as they venture out into the world on their own steam.

Is your son or daughter prepared for the blows to their self-esteem that can occur at work, at school and in relationships, now that they've moved on from the nurturing environments of high school and home? Do they have the skills to pick themselves up and keep moving forward, even in the face of the most challenging setback?

Self-Esteem Profiles

A person with intact self-esteem has developed the ability to state their strengths and recognize their personal limitations. They are willing to try things and learn from their mistakes. When they accomplish something, they can accept credit for doing it well.

A self-confident person can express feelings, thoughts and beliefs with confidence even when their viewpoints differ from those of other people. They can form positive relationships and develop personal and professional networks.

Low self-esteem impacts every aspect of a person's life. Each one of us can identify people we know who do not have a good concept of themselves.

The hardest thing for many is the ability to handle feedback or criticism and be open to self-improvement. Think about these individuals and consider if they:

• have difficulty walking into a room full of people
• use language that is self-deprecating
• are able to hold a job
• are able to make or keep friends
• have the ability to function effectively in their life-work role

How Can You Help?

No matter what our situation, we can always use strategies to improve the way we look at ourselves and our ability to function in the world around us. It is useful to help young people identify specific areas they recognize as stumbling blocks or challenges that affect their ability to cope with a situation:

• Are they able to set goals in their work and then reflect on their success or failure?
• Does one aspect of communicating with a supervisor, parent, sibling or friend really impede their ability to be objective about their own performance?
• What do they do well and want to build on to create an even better situation?

Looking at the Big Picture

"I can't do anything right!" is a common complaint from many young adults. After an outburst, some parents sit with their child and help them identify all the things they can do well. You can look at all aspects of their life where they have success – things like: maintaining friendships, solving personal problems, or working part time. Then you can remind them to see the "problem" as an opportunity to grow and stretch to move forward.

As a Parent

By providing your child with strategies and thought processes to work through situations that could potentially impact their self-esteem, you can help them stand on their own two feet. They will be more capable of holding their head up high to meet the challenges that we as parents know they will meet in the years to come.