Helping Your Child Deal with College Rejection

Over the spring, your student should be hearing back from the colleges they applied to. This can be an anxious time for many high school seniors as they wait to find out where they'll spend the next few years. By now, most students know that a fat envelope often brings good news, while a slimmer envelope can hold not-so-good news: the dreaded rejection letter.

While every parent wants their child to be accepted by their top college picks, the reality is that some students will be getting rejection letters from the colleges they'd set their hopes on.

There are more qualified applicants than ever, all vying for seats in their chosen schools. In this increasingly competitive academic world, more students are facing rejection.

But history shows us many instances in which not being accepted to a particular college didn't hamper a career.

Did you know that Steven Spielberg was turned down by both the USC and UCLA film schools? He ended up attending the "less prestigious" Cal State University, Long Beach. He went on to become the world's most popular filmmaker.

We don't know why those first-choice colleges didn't accept Spielberg. But it is highly doubtful that he would have been more successful had he attended one of them.

Here's the point: Spielberg had serious talent that couldn't be bottled up in a GPA, a class ranking, an SAT score, or any of those famous numbers by which colleges measure students. Obviously, his potential for greatness in the film industry went unnoticed by those two colleges.

Talent, persistence and ambition have a lot to do with who goes on to be successful and who does not. Students are more than a GPA or an SAT score.

Colleges' decisions are based on a number of different factors. Some of those, such as their need to meet certain quotas, may be out of an applicant's control.

Assure your child that a rejection letter just means they weren't a good fit for one particular college. It by no means indicates they've failed or that they're not "college material." Don't treat a rejection letter like a disaster, and remember that your reaction will influence your child's reaction. Some school counselors say that they notice many parents take rejection harder than the students.

Hopefully, your child applied to other schools as well -- most counselors encourage students to send out "back-up" applications -- and will be able to continue to pursue their goals. If they accept the school that accepted them instead of dwelling on the less successful applications, they can make the most of their educational future.

If your child is extremely upset about the rejection, they could appeal through the college's admissions office. However, it can be tough to reverse a decision successfully. They could also ask the college about being put on the waiting list.

Some colleges will provide feedback on why an application was rejected. This can be a learning experience for high school seniors, and can help them face future applications -- even employment applications -- in their future.

If your child is willing, they could call the admissions office to find out what they were missing in their application. Although it might be tempting to defend your child, it's important that they make the call, not you. They can use the opportunity to show the college that they're willing to listen and learn.

It's often possible to take what they've learned and apply as a transfer student in a following year after some time at another school bolstering their GPA or working on other weaknesses.

If your child wasn't accepted by any schools, encourage them to talk to their guidance counselor. There are a few options available, including talking to the schools about reapplying.

Students with the determination to succeed can thrive at any school. A rejection letter doesn't have to be the end of the road, but can be a new beginning.